I’m fast coming into my last month of school before going on this sabbatical of mine. So many changes coming.
1. In three weeks when I wake up on this Saturday morning I will be finished with all of my programs. This is a huge deal since I put on a ton of programs every year. I will be finished.
2. In two weeks I will no longer have before school choir rehearsals. It’s not that the kids are bad. They’re great. But getting an extra 45 minutes put back into my morning schedule…or just even added to my night’s sleep will be amazing. It really is the small things.
3. I will be starting to pack up stuff at school this week and for the next month. I’ve put it off so far. But I know I need to start. It’s amazing how much teacher’s put in to their classrooms from their own money. I will have the boxes in storage soon to prove it.
4. I will be saying goodbye to students and coworkers in just over a month. I already have talked with my co teacher about getting together once in awhile next year for lunch or something. I hope we do it. It’s so easy to say and then not follow up on. I know myself all too well.
5. I will be preparing for a major bike ride event that I’m taking in June with my daughter, lauren. PALM…pedal across lower Michigan. I will be biking every day for the next two months in preparation for that event.
6. I will be preparing for my parent’s 50th wedding anniversary party. I’m the girl in charge of the pictures and power point, and music and writing up something to share. Thankfully I avoided the decorations and food end of the deal. Whew…what a relief.
7. In just over a month I will have no children in public schools anymore. We will be an entirely home schooled family. Lauren doing it this year has prepared us well for what I believe will be a successful experience but I’m very aware that lauren and lydia are not carbon copies, so I’m sure it will still be an adjustment…but worth it.
8. In a month my oldest daughter will be turning 16. Crazy! She’s hoping to get her license on her birthday and as long as we can get in her drive hours we should be good to do so. If I thought it was crazy being in the passenger seat with her…I’m definitely going to feel strange seeing her drive away on her own without me there to say STOP!!!! Thankfully…I think she’ll still hear my voice even when I’m not there since I’ve imprinted my voice on her memory forever:).
9. In the next month my daughter Lauren and I are getting small tattoos. In honor of her turning 16. We have planned on this for a year now. It’s not a whim. We have given great thought to what we want it to be and where we want to have it put. Pretty much based on what we’ve been told is the least painful:)…yes we are wimps. Lauren is getting a butterfly which fits her perfectly…I’m getting a word…which fits me perfectly. My word is “free”. That one four letter word lately has filled me to the brim and expresses everything I desire.
10. All while I’m closing down stuff in my normal life…I’m starting more private piano and voice students in May. I will be up to 9 students…actually 7 but 2 of the students are going to take double slots since they want to do voice and piano…so I count that as 9 :). As that business is increasing…it’s a good thing that soon my day job will be done. Doing both gets to be a bit much for a girl like me who is ready to collapse upon getting home from school. But I’m loving the private students I have. Each one is so unique. And I’m good at what I do. There is something absolutely wonderful about discovering what you’re good at and what actually is not only something you can give…but something that you receive from as well.
For too long I’ve lived my life based on trying to figure out what the world needs and meeting that need. That’s how I was raised. Make yourself useful…
I read this quote today from Glennon Doyle Melton’s book called “Carry On Warrior” and it spoke deeply to me. The quote is actually atttributed to Howard Thurman
“Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.”
If I could, I would write those words, stencil them on my walls in every room because they are so profound to me. For too long as a Christian I have felt that my job was to look at the world and figure out what it needs and morph myself into whatever it needs. I’ve gone on missions trips that were not up my ally at all because I thought I was supposed to…I’ve slugged through the past 14 years teaching…even though, even when I was a student teacher I knew I didn’t enjoy the job. I’ve filled in countless ways at church simply because there were holes and I was taught that we are to fill the holes. I’m not sure that I’ve done anybody any good by living that way. So I’m stopping.
From here on out…I’m asking myself what makes me come alive…and that’s what I plan to do. I think the changing the world thing might just happen on it’s own if I just focus on me coming alive. Sometimes I get things a little backwards. I’ve lived the changing the world thing…and forgot how to really be alive myself. I’m done.
So…with all of the changes…I can tell you this…I will keep writing, and writing and writing. I currently write on four different blogs. If that isn’t crazy and unique than I don’t know what is. I’m trusting that in the right time and place all of this writing will be world changing, even if I never see it. In the mean time…it makes me feel alive.
I will also keep learning and growing and studying how to best pass on my love and gifts in music to individual students. I love the mix I have right now. I go from a middle age adult who I can completely relate to, to a five year old sweet girl on Mondays. I teach my own two girls on Tuesdays. And I have a lovely teenage girl on Thursdays and a couple of preteen girls starting up in May. No guys yet…that will be a new thing for me:). In time. I love the variety of piano and voice, the variety of age and experience. I feel alive after each lesson I give…like…hey I was made to be good at this. I’m getting paid for what comes fairly naturally to me. Seems nice.
I will also be pouring everything I have into my own two girls. For Lauren that means her and I on the bike trail for the next two months in a big way. I have a feeling we’re going to bond and cry and sweat like we’ve never done before….hopefully laugh too:). For Lydia…that means closing out the year as her teacher. I’ve now been teaching my daughter for the past 4 years. It’s been a good thing for us. We both know a season is closing. We want to move on…but we also I’m sure will feel some emotion about the whole thing.
Anyway…so much good stuff on the horizon. I have persevered and continue to do so.
What makes you come alive? Go do it!