This self employment thing is teaching me much about myself. I see myself as a hard working, responsible type person. I don’t question if I can shoulder the load of getting done what needs to get done or not. I pride myself on a job well done. But…that being said, I’m realizing once again that I’m not always good about accepting constructive criticism.

Why? I have no idea except I must feel insecure and so I automatically take a comment and twist it into more than it probably is. Right now I have friends and family testing my stuff…body scrub and eventually soap. I know I need their helpful input to make this a successful business. I want to be open to it and receive it objectively and make this business the best it can be…and I am and will. But I also notice in me a trait that I don’t really care for.

I’ve always been a little oversensitive. I am often my own worst critic. Helpful suggestions if I’m not careful can come across to me as insults. It shouldn’t be this way. I know it’s error on my part. I’m just being very honest about it.

I do want and need feedback. And I want to be mature and logical enough to make any needed adjustments to have a successful business. I will…I promise. I’m just finding that in the in between time I’m having to take a good look at myself and make some needed adjustments.

I think I tend to get really invested in when I work at something. I work hard, I give it my all…so sometimes it’s hard for me to detach myself from the product. It’s hard for me to not take things to personally. Anybody else struggle with this? I hope so…I would hate to be the only one 🙂

I don’t have a degree in business. I only started making body scrub and cold pressed soap a couple of weeks ago. This is all new to me. I’m not married. I don’t have anybody beyond my two wonderful daughters giving me direct input so I know I need it. I know I’ll be better for it. I just wish I didn’t get this sinking feeling every time I know someone is going to give me feedback. I know I will have to get over it. I guess the only way I can is to deal with the heart of the issue.

Insecurity. It’s plagued me for as long as I can remember. I want to say that I’m totally secure at this point and no longer struggle with it…but I still do from time to time. Maybe I have some trust issues too, who knows…

When a person has as great of family and friends as I have…one should be able to readily accept feedback. I’m trying and learning and pushing myself to overcome old habits.

I know some of you get feedback and you love it. You want lots of people to speak into your life. I tend to be a little afraid of it. Which seems crazy since I blog every day and open myself up to anybody who wants to comment.

Anyway…this is my reality for today. Once again, dealing with over sensitivity, fear, insecurity and trust. Once again letting go and trying to choose to see the best in every situation instead of the worst.

Nothing big has happened, by the way. For most of you it would be nothing…I’m just the type of person where it doesn’t take a whole lot for me to go down these paths.

I love to write, I love to create and am loving the process of making soap and body scrub. I love putting myself out there and being real. I just then have to learn how to hear what others have to say and to welcome it, glean the truth and helpful parts and let go of the rest.

I have room to improve. I need to continue learning. I am better when I have others who speak into my life. They notice things I don’t. Sometimes I guess I just tend to be over independent and expect myself to know it all and have it all together on my own.

Giving myself some grace today. One of the hardest things for me to do…

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